Baby boy, you are 11 months old now, and since you came along, life is overflowing with adventure and awe. I'm seeing the world anew. Weaving through the perpetual tension of clinging tight and letting go, routine and flexibility, to play or to do or to rest...ah, the wondrous balancing act of motherhood. But you are worth it all. My widened hips, you are worth it. The bags under my eyes, you are worth it. The scar, the career put on pause, the love so deep it stings...you are so much more than worth it. You are my foretaste and evidence of heaven, a glimpse into what it's like to be fully present and unafraid. Thank you for teaching me, stretching me, and most of all, needing me. I love you.